Sunday, July 09, 2006

Funny Marine Stories #2

How about something a little lighter?

Writing the last post reminded me of a story that is funny, in a sad sorta way.

There was this guy in our platoon, named Annis. Now, I don’t know about all of you, but to us, there was only one nickname for this guy.

Anus was a geeky white guy from somewhere up north. Quiet, steady, not a tough guy. Anus’ bunkmate was this huge black guy, Albright. Apparently, Albright was a bit unhappy/stressed out about boot camp. He got pretty frustrated every day; until he found a way to relieve that anger.

Every night, for about two months, before he went to bed, Albright would punch Anus. He would wait till the lights were out, and most of us were asleep. He’d get out of his rack, and hit Anus in the side a time or two.

Anus didn’t mention this to anyone. He didn’t tell a drill instructor, and he didn’t tell any of us. Well, not until the night before graduation. He just took it, and was Albright’s punching bag (literally) for a couple of months.

Anus wasn’t the smartest cookie in our platoon, although he was a pretty cool cat. He was a really stoic guy, just took whatever was thrown at him. He managed to get cellulitis (an infection that eats your skin), and just took that, too. He didn’t mention it to anyone for like a week. By the time he did mention it, there was a hole in the side of his cheek, that went all the way through. Dude could breathe with his mouth closed and his nose plugged.

Can you say dumbass?

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